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The Happy Crappy Marriage

Monday, January 31, 2022 • Matt Loehr • Marriage Advice
Focus on God's truth during the ups and downs.
The Happy Crappy Marriage

The fact that marriage has happy days AND crappy days is not something we think much about when we first get married. But if go through seasons where you have more crappy than happy days, you can become consumed and overwhelmed to the point that what you once dreamed of you dread. Someone you once loved, you now loathe.


If you are in that place now, consider the following truths from God’s word:

  • Happiness in marriage does not come in finding life in each other but rather in finding life in Christ and serving Him together.

“He who loses his life will find it…” (Lk 9:24)


  • Happiness in marriage is not formed on a romantic fantasy of two perfectly matched people. It is formed on the battlefield of commitment, humility, and preferring your spouse above yourself.

“Do nothing out of ambition or vain conceit. Rather in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests, but each of you to the interests of others.” (Phil 2:3-4)


  • Happiness in marriage doesn’t come from relenting but rather repenting. A moment of repentance will change everything for you.

“Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.” (Mt 3:8)


  • Happiness in marriage is not in the event. It is in the journey.

“When the time is right, I the Lord will make it happen.” (Is 60:22)


  • Happiness in marriage lies in the abundance of Christ.

“I came that you might have abundant life.” (Jn 10:10)


Every marriage goes through predictable and recurring phases. These phases can lead to disillusion and discouragement. Instead of focusing on the happy/crappies of these phases, try focusing on finding life in Christ together, serving each other as unto Him, being quick to repent and forgive, and remembering that in every journey there are winding roads of ups and downs that keep the scenery from becoming boring.


If you would like to learn more about strengthening your marriage, click here.

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