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Get Help Before You Get Out

Sunday, February 6, 2022 • Matt Loehr • Marriage Advice
Do not allow hopelessness to rob you of the blessings God has for your marriage.
Get Help Before You Get Out

Have you ever looked at your spouse and said, “I wish I had never married you?” Maybe you have never said it aloud, but you have thought it. Those are the words of hopelessness.


Prov 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” Other translations say it like this, “Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick (MSG), and “When hope is crushed, the heart is crushed (GNT).”  Proverbs goes on to say, “When dreams come true at last, there is life and joy (TLB),” and “A longing fulfilled is a tree of life (NIV).”


Hope comes when we invite God into the places we have gone unsuccessfully, and some of the places we are not willing to go:

  • The deep-seated hurts and pain.
  • The seemingly unsolvable conflicts.
  • The unlovable parts of ourselves.
  • The areas where you feel like you and your spouse are from different galaxies. 
  • The anger, bitterness, resentment, and indifference from years of abuse or neglect.
  • The disappointment of unfulfilled desires and dreams.
  • The baggage that you and your spouse have both carried into your marriage.
  • The misunderstandings and unforgiveness.


Fulfillment in marriage comes from an ongoing authentic and intimate relationship with Christ. Your hope in Him will sustain you as He works in the areas that feel hopeless. As you walk hand-in-hand with Him into these dark, lonely, uncomfortable, painful, and weary places, He will:

  • Shine His light of truth and healing into each place (2 Cor 4:6).
  • Help you honestly evaluate the vulnerable places of hurt and disappointment by the truth of His word and give you an eternal and holy perspective on your marriage (Col 3:2).
  • Gently remind you that marriage is for keeps, and your hope is not in fallen man but in an eternal God who brings dead things back to life, calls things that are not as though they were (Rom 4:17), and makes all things new (Rev 21:5).
  • Bring hope into your despair, peace to your anxiety, and restoration to your brokenness (Is 26:3).
  • Give you the desire and power to speak life rather than death into your marriage (Phil 2:13).


God is the creator and sustainer of marriage. This is good news because it means there is hope for your marriage. Do not allow hopelessness to rob you of the blessings God has for your marriage. The same power that raised Christ from the dead can resurrect your marriage. Whether your marriage needs a little TLC or a complete overhaul, put your trust in God and let His hope infuse your marriage today.


Get help before you get out. Divorce the idea of divorce. Please consider meeting with one of our mentors for ten weeks. They are trained to help you get through a dark valley. Go to www.refreshyourmarriage.com to connect to a trained marriage mentor using zoom.


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