Three Steps to Safeguard Your Marriage from Satan

If you believe in God and His Son, Jesus Christ, then you also believe in the truth of Scripture—including the reality of Satan and his demons.

Revelation 12:7-9 (NIV)
⁷Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. ⁸But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. ⁹The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.

Scripture clearly teaches that Satan is real and actively working to destroy lives, marriages, and families. One-third of the angels fell with him and now serve as agents of division, destruction, and deception—until Christ’s return (see John 12:31). They are known as demons.

After years in ministry, I’ve witnessed firsthand the subtle, persistent ways Satan gains access to marriages. The pattern is often predictable, but once we recognize it, we can respond with spiritual authority.

Important Note: This article addresses demonization, not possession. Demonization refers to demonic influence—affecting thoughts, emotions, or behavior. Possession implies complete control, which believers in Christ cannot experience.

Four Common Entry Points for Demonic Influence

Trauma – Emotional wounds caused by deep or innocent suffering.
Victimhood – Believing you're powerless or hopeless.
Division – Broken relationships or unresolved conflict.
Anger – Resentment and unforgiveness left to fester.

Pay close attention to these areas—for your own sake and for your spouse’s sake.

Ask yourself: Is the enemy attacking me or my spouse through one of these doors?

While we must not blame everything on Satan (as C.S. Lewis warned), we also shouldn’t minimize his tactics at play. Scripture says we can resist the enemy—and that he will flee (James 4:7).

Here are three steps to help safeguard your marriage from Satan:

STEP 1: REPENT DAILY

Every argument in marriage is a potential entry point for Satan. Many couples are unaware of this danger. Many wives don’t realize how their disrespect or criticism can invite spiritual attack. Likewise, a husband's harshness or neglect can do the same.

Conflict often opens all four doors: trauma, victimhood, division, and anger.

Even seemingly minor moments can invite the enemy in. Example: Sandy jokingly teased Jim about how many chips he was eating. Jim felt disrespected. A simple comment spiraled into a full-blown argument. He went to bed angry.

The next morning, he texted: "Good morning, babe. I’m so sorry for how I spoke to you last night. No excuses. Please forgive me. I will do better."
Sandy responded with grace: "Me too. I’m sorry. Thanks for the message."

That moment of repentance slammed the door shut on Satan. The fight started over something small, a few chips—but repentance had a big impact.

Do you recognize how Satan attacks you, your spouse and your marriage? Maybe through anger, bitterness, lust, insecurity, or hopelessness. Maybe through anxiety or dark thoughts.

What invites Satan in? Conflict. What kicks him out? Repentance.

Ephesians 4:26-27
"In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."

You don’t have to be the guilty party to repent. Say: “I’m sorry for my part in the conflict.”
This humility breaks spiritual strongholds and brings peace. Repentance doesn’t need to be an elaborate event. Often, it’s a small gesture. Practice repenting with a few words, a gentle touch and attempts to re-engage.

Commit to a lifestyle of repenting. It will impact every relationship in your life, not to mention how much it will impact you.

STEP 2: FORGIVE DAILY

Unforgiveness is one of Satan’s most effective tools to divide and destroy relationships. Choosing to forgive—every day—isn’t just for your spouse’s benefit; it’s for the health of your heart and your home. Daily forgiveness keeps bitterness from taking root and allows grace to grow in its place.

Imagine an island that is beautiful, full of provision and freedom from wounds, hurts and bitterness. To get to the island, you must walk across three long planks. The first plank is salvation, to believe in Jesus and turn from your sin. The second plank is repentance. A lifestyle of repenting for your own wrongdoing. The third plank is forgiveness. These three planks are what provides a way for you to find freedom and live on the island.

Even though the island is still here on earth with its own troubles, you can live a life of freedom from bondage due to Satan’s tactics. Forgiveness is a crucial part of your freedom.

A powerful example:
In 2006, after the horrific Amish school shooting, grieving families forgave the shooter’s family within 24 hours. Their forgiveness didn’t ignore justice—it invited healing into the entire community and kept Satan from gaining further ground.

Unforgiveness, in contrast, is like opening a box of demons and letting them in. In marriage, with two flawed people sharing life, the opportunity for offense is great. A little bitterness here and a small grudge there will leave your spouse feeling your distance and your contempt.

In marriage, unforgiveness builds walls. It shows up as:

Bitterness in thoughts
Coldness in actions
Tension in communication
Lack of affection

Forgiveness is not just saying the words—it’s reflected in how you treat your spouse.
Don’t lie to yourself by saying you’ve forgiven if your actions say otherwise. Use this list as a measuring device to make sure you have forgiven your spouse and are not in bondage to Satan.

I have witnessed countless Christians say they have forgiven but the evidence says otherwise. Some say, “I will forgive but I will never forget.” That can be a problem. Satan wants to keep you in bondage to the memories of past hurts. When these thoughts come into your mind, the bible tells us to take them captive and bend them to the way of Christ. That means, we cannot dwell on the memories of our wounds, or we can get pulled back into bitterness, again and again.

Christ’s ways are clear. Forgive the offender. Give them drink or food when they are hungry. Show them love and compassion. His ways are not our ways. His methods are not our methods. We must turn from our own methods and put on his like a coat that keeps us warm during a cold winter night. It truly works. If you have ever experienced the warm feelings that come when you do things God’s way, you know what I am talking about.

My question is, “Why don’t we forgive more often?”.

Forgiving allows God to avenge you. Unforgiveness hinders God from doing His work on the person that hurt you. Your punishment of unforgiveness becomes their price for wrongdoing rather than God avenging you and dealing with that person the way He intended. Everybody loses when you don’t forgive.

Forgive, and you:

Shut the door on Satan
Heal your heart
Strengthen your marriage

No amount of therapy or medication can do what true forgiveness can. And if your therapist doesn’t point you toward forgiveness, consider finding a new one.

If you're experiencing abuse, forgiveness doesn't mean remaining in danger. Set boundaries, seek safety—and release the offender to God’s justice.

STEP 3: PURSUE HOLINESS DAILY

Guarding your marriage isn't a one-time event—it’s a daily commitment. When you intentionally pursue holiness, you create a spiritual barrier that keeps the enemy at bay and invites God’s presence into your home.

J.C. Ryle’s book Holiness is a must read. Holiness makes you more patient, more loving, and more spiritually powerful.

Some scholars say that pursuing holiness is our way of proving that we are truly saved. It’s the ultimate measuring stick of salvation. Likewise, the lack of Godly pursuit may reflect the opposite. Maybe you aren’t a Christian but think you are. It’s a deep thought with heavy laden effects. The argument isn’t designed to make you mad or angry, it’s to push you towards truth and sanctification.

God says in scripture, “If you love me, you will obey me.”

How can we obey Him if we don’t read His word enough to understand the ways in which our obedience must manifest itself. Going to church on Sunday doesn’t cut it. We must be in deeper pursuit of His ways from Monday to Sunday, on our own. It’s hard to find people who truly pursue Him with fervor who struggle with relationships, bitterness, unforgiveness and anger.

Pursuing holiness doesn’t make you righteous, only God can do that through the redeeming blood of Jesus can accomplish that. Pursuing holiness makes you more capable to carry out the tasks God has for you. Pursuing holiness brings you more blessings. Pursuing holiness impacts those around you tenfold. Pursuing holiness gives you a deeper perspective of God’s love and his hatred towards sin.

How? How does one pursue holiness? By putting on the armor of God, over time. Here are some ways.

Ephesians 6: The Armor of God

Belt of Truth – Ground yourself in God’s Word
Breastplate of Righteousness – Obey God’s commands
Shoes of Peace – Be ready to share the Gospel
Shield of Faith – Deflect spiritual attacks
Helmet of Salvation – Renew your mind in Christ
Sword of the Spirit – Use Scripture to fight back
Prayer – Stay connected to God continually

Pursuing Holiness Looks Like:

Attending a Bible-believing church
Studying Scripture personally and in community
Applying what you learn
Letting God’s Word shape your decisions
Building a spiritual partnership with your spouse

Holiness isn’t about being perfect—it’s about making progress. Each step you take toward holiness strengthens the foundation of your marriage, your family, and your life. Pursuing holiness in community is ideal. If your church offers a small group, join one—or consider starting your own. There are many excellent small group studies available online or for purchase.

As Proverbs 27:17 reminds us, ‘As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.’ We find spiritual growth when we share our faith journey with others who have similar interests. Often, other’s pursuit of holiness within our personal circle of influence inspires us to do the same. We are all flawed and continue to battle sin and struggle with failure, but together we grow. We share each other’s burdens, and, in that way, we fulfill the law of Christ. It always lifts our spirits, always warms our hearts and always impacts those around us for the good.

Pursuing holiness is what troubles Satan most. If you haven’t read The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis, it’s a powerful glimpse into the strategies the enemy uses to distract and deceive. Satan isn’t concerned with non-believers or passive Christians—he targets those earnestly seeking holiness. This isn’t meant to scare you but to inspire you. You were created to walk in God’s purpose, power, and anointing. As you pursue Him and live under His covering, trust God to handle the enemy. Your calling is to focus on becoming who He made you to be—for His glory and your eternal impact.

Lastly, if you have children, pursuing holiness has even a greater reward. They will see and hear every step, every comment and every decision you make. Like little ducklings, they will follow your every move. Research shows that when fathers pursue holiness, 44% of children follow Christ as adults. When fathers don’t pursue holiness but only mothers, only a mere 2% grow up following Christ. That should wake up every father reading this. Pursue holiness to keep Satan out of your home and away from your children.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

What invites Satan in?

Conflict

What drives him out?

Repentance
Forgiveness
Holiness

These daily practices can radically transform your marriage and protect your home from spiritual attack.

James 4:7
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

If you’re stuck, don’t stay there. Reach out for help—we offer biblical mentoring worldwide via Zoom.

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Three Steps to Safeguard Your Marriage from Satan

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